الفتاوى ٣٠ سبتمبر ٢٠١٦
زوجتى متبرجة
I met my wife online three years ago. She was a convert for 1-2 years at the time, so I felt happy that she didn’t convert for me or anyone but for herself. She still had her non-muslim friends including an ex at the time, and she had her pre-Islam pictures on facebook. I asked to get rid of all of them, and she did. She was also covering all her body (except hair) even before I met her.
Two months ago, she wanted to wear a short-sleeve t-shirt, and knee length skirts, and attributed her desire to what she learned about the failure of hijab to protect Hijabi women in the middle east, and other reasons. We had a conflict, and we reached a compromise since I was hoping it would be temporary. Two weeks ago, she told me that she had many issues with Islam and how it treats women (like sex slavery and less wight in testimony … etc), and I had a discussion with her where she was partially convinced of my explanation. Later on, I found out she was fine with showing more of her body now, and that she doesn’t feel drinking is totally bad although she might not want to drink now. I also knew that many things that I asked her to do were only done because she loved me, and not because she believed in them, like abandoning her male-friends. She was just afraid to talk honestly to me because I had a bad temper (working on it now although it might be too late), and she loved me and didn’t want to lose me. She still loves me but I guess she can’t continue compromising, and she is not sure Islam is the right path. She thinks it might be one path, and all of the Quran is not applicable now, and we don’t know which parts are still valid.
I feel deceived although I know she only did it for love. She is willing to compromise on clothing, but I’m not sure there’s future. She will mostly continue to believe in God, and probably Islam (so, the restriction of marrying a believer is fine), but I feel deceived, and I am not sure I can continue with her. So much pain with her or without her.
Any advice