Confused

its important to find someone to answer me asap,,, i am muslim (until now) ive been a very districted sunni untill a few years ago,, then the most i dig down in Islam is the most i fount many stuff that my brain can never accept,,, ive took my viel off and i had a few searches in christianity but i quit them all as i was beliving in the Quran,, then i fount that the only way i could stay muslim is to be quranist,,, but last few weeks i found out that i had kinda rare virus and i m expecting cancer and have no chance to marry and live like any other girl (im only 24) AND IVE DREAMT OF MERUM,, OM EL NOUR i was in pain out of a surgery and no pain killer she visited me and she was beside me until i went asleep for too long with no pain without pain killer,, and that was odd,, now im thinking of deat,, i find mistaks in quran,, im sure no need to discus or mention them all im sure u know them,, but i dont wanna meet allah or jesus (wtever was his name i mean the only god) MISTAKING,, because simply iwill not live my life naturally so i wanna go to him trusting that im right,, honestly i started to belive in christianity out of my hand especially afer the visit of marry (which can never be just adream) i really need to meet one of u,, u r the only way to islam in my opinion im not willing to contact any of the wahabian muslims,,, thank